My Impressionable Doctor
by Optimegwing
Summary: Ratchet ends up watching Scrubs after an enforced break from Wheeljack; the twins end up paying the price for it. Yes I know I suck at selling this...
1. Chapter 1

Okay, so I'm writing a fic. How bizarre… ' Anyway~ All Starbee's fault and the video on Youtube where someone took Dr. Cox's rant from My Musical and made Ratchet say it. Then Starbee said something about someone commenting on it on how Ratchet would call the twins by girls names, and that sparked this idea. The title is lame, but inspired by how Scrubs episodes start with "My…"

I don't own Transformers or Scrubs.

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It all started when Wheeljack insisted that Ratchet needed to relax a little and sat him in front of the TV that the humans had given them.

"C'mon, Ratch, relaxing a little won't hurt you. Who knows, you may even enjoy it." Wheeljack's fins glowed a cheery blue.

His response was a scowl from the medbot. "You magnetized me to the chair you slagger. Enjoyment is far from my mind and will be from yours when I get a hold of you."

Wheeljack paused for a brief second, considering the ramifications of that sentence and the enforced break he'd put on Ratchet. Then the thought dropped out of his processors and wasn't picked up again. With that he picked up the remote for the TV and started flipping through channels. "Okay, just tell me when to stop if you see something you like."

Ratchet growled. "I'd much rather just shove that remote-" Ratchet was cut off when Bluestreak came running into the rec room. "Wheeljack, you've got to come, oh hi Ratchet, how are you? Finally decided to enjoy some earth television? I know you always say that it will destroy our optics, but that hasn't happened yet. I don't think it has anyway, I mean we've had it for a few stellar cycles now so you think it'd be okay…"

"Blue, remember what Prowl keeps saying about focusing?" Wheeljack interrupted calmly.

"Oh! Yes! Your lab is smoking."

"Oh." There was a pause. "I guess I'd better go put that out then! Ratchet, you stay here and relax some more, I'll just leave it on this channel for now and be back soon." With that Wheeljack strode out of the room, Bluestreak telling him that he'd go get Inferno in case he needed help with whatever was on fire.

"What?! Wheeljack you get your aft back here you glitched oversized lightbulb!" The swearing continued for a few kliks and then Ratchet sighed and resigned himself to his fate. Which lead him to actually looking at the TV and watching the show that was playing.

Humorously enough, the show that was playing appeared to be about earth doctors. He watched as one human doctor wearing a pair of clothes that the humans called 'scrubs' entered the room of a patient. There was another doctor there, wearing what Ratchet recognized as a lab coat, reading a chart. He watched as the doctor who entered greeted the other one, now designated "Dr. Cox" and started talking about how it was great to work with him. Ratchet sighed, if this was how the show went, he'd get bored of this human very fast. To his surprise, Dr. Cox rolled his eyes and then whistled, stopping the first humans babbling. He then proceeded on a long rant about how he could care less what that human thought, completing his sentence by calling the younger doctor a girl's name.

The show continued and Ratchet became more amused at how Dr. Cox treated his fellow doctors. It reminded him almost how he treated his fellow Autobots; with mockery and sarcasm and yet there was some sort of almost underlying respect beneath all that. Ratchet scowled when the episode ended, he was actually enjoying that. To his pleasure, another episode started up when the credits finished rolling. He watched as the first doctor (who he found out was JD) and his friend (Turk) pulled pranks and then grinned as Dr. Cox came around the corner to insult them, complete with girls names.

Eventually Wheeljack came back and unmagnetized him from the chair. Ratchet then proceeded to hit him with the tv remote and storm out of the rec room. After all, it just wouldn't do to tell Wheeljack he'd actually enjoyed himself, he'd never live it down.

He headed towards medbay, intending on finishing cataloguing the tools he'd left before he was rudely interrupted. To his displeasure, when he entered the medbay there was more then just tools he'd left behind in the berths. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe were snarking at each other, a few dents and scratches on each. Both stopped when they heard Ratchet growl.

"What did you fraggers do now?"

Sideswipe grinned. "Aw… Ratch… don't be like that. For all you know, Sunny and I could be innocent."

"Don't call me Sunny." His brother reached over and hit him on his helm.

Ratchet snorted. "Innocent my aft." He started getting out the tools he'd need to repair them while the two bickered on. He frowned, where had he put that welder of his… he swore it was around here somewhere…

"What's the matter, Hatchet, losing your processor?" Sunstreaker asked. He turned around, glaring at the yellow bot. "Leave him be Sunny, he's just getting old." Sideswipe snickered from the other side. "Well I need him to pay attention, after all, I can't go around the Ark looking like this." Sunstreaker gestured to himself. "Oh I'm sure you'll be your pretty little self again in no time, bro. And then you can spend the rest of the day waxing and asking the mirror who's the prettiest bot of them all." Sideswipe cooed at his brother, who glared back.

For whatever reason, Sideswipes words reminded him of the show that Ratchet had been watching. Which made him smirk, maybe he could take a note out of Dr. Cox's book, as that human saying went. With that he let out a shrill noise, a Cybertronian version of a whistle. The twins stopped and stared.

"Oh good, and now that I have your attention you slaggers, I'd like to point out juuuu-huuuu-huuu-st how much I care. You listening?" He paused for a few astroseconds, the twins looked back at him, confused. Just as they were about to open their mouths he spoke again. "That's right, that sound of silence is part of the nothingness of me caring about what you glitches are up to and will do when you're out of here. Now relax, Cinderella, I'm sure there's a coat of wax with your name on it out there somewhere and your brother here actually does have a point that you can go back to asking the mirror who's the prettiest bot of them all."

"Ratchet I think that was Snow White, not Cinderella." Sideswipe interrupted briefly, highly amused at his brother being called Cinderella.

"I'm sorry, Jasmine, did you think I cared which fairy tale princess you two were being today?" Ratchet briefly did an Internet search on fairy tale princesses' names to add to the list. "I thought we already went through this with the moment of silence, but just so you can get it through your thick processors, let me put it in a way you may understand." Ratchet held up his hands, shaking both his pointer servos. "Me no care. Got it? Good. Now sit up Aurora, I'll bet you have a date with Prince Charming that just caaaaa-haaaa-ennnn-ot be cancelled." With that he picked up the welder that he had seen under the berth and started working on Sunstreakers scratches. "Oh and Ariel, from now on, I don't want to hear a peep out of you when you're around me." He looked briefly over at Sideswipe, whose mouth was hanging open in shock.

Ratchet smirked and cackled to himself. Maybe Wheeljack was right. Good things came out of relaxing after all…

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So all spelling mistakes are mine, I'm sorry; also, I'm Canadian, so I write using the Canadian spelling of some words. Sorry Ratchet's a bit OOC. ' Or any of the characters for that matter.


	2. Chapter 2

I told myself I wouldn't write anymore. But Starbee was having a bad day this morning, so thus I do this.

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A few of the Autobots were relaxing in the rec room in the Ark on the bright sunny afternoon. Jazz and Blaster were in a corner planning a new party, Bluestreak was talking non-stop to Hound (who nodded here or there.), Prowl was keeping an eye on them since the last time Bluestreak and Hound had talked there was a raccoon infestation a few hours later, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe were playing a video game on the tv in the corner, while Wheeljack and Bumblebee were watching the main tv in the centre.

"Hey, Wheeljack, looks like Scrubs is going to be on soon. Should you call Ratchet? You were saying the other day how much he liked it." Bumblebee asked, looking over at the inventor.

"Great idea, it does seem to be one of the few things he'll actually take a break for." Wheeljack was about to comm. Ratchet, when…

"NO!"

Every Autobot in the room stopped, silent, and stared at both of the twins who had abandoned their video game in favour of looking over at Wheeljack in horror.

"You can't let him watch more of that show, Wheeljack. We're begging you." Sideswipe began.

"Uh…why?"

"Because every time he does, we get called femme names. I refuse to be compared to those human femmes." Sunstreaker scowled.

"Sunny, you don't even like being compared to humans when they aren't femmes." Sideswipe interjected.

"That's besides the point. And don't call me Sunny." Sunstreaker swiped at his brother, who hit back and the two started wrestling.

"Uh… shouldn't we be stopping them?" Hound began… looking over to where Prowl had been and seeing nothing. "Where'd Prowl go?"

A few kliks later Ratchet came in the room. He let out a shrill Cybertonian whistle. Looking down at Sunstreaker he started his rant. "Tinkerbell, I'd be careful fighting your sister there, because if you two slaggers dent and scratch each other, well, I'm just not going to make you pretty in time for Academy reunion. So don't come crying to me saying you got into a femme fight and expect me to do anything about it, don't worry though, I'm just positively sure that a can of wax will fix you up right away." He sounded far too deceptively cheerful.

"Are you getting this, mech?" Jazz whispered over to Blaster.

"I don't think I can look away…" Blaster whispered back.

"Now come on there Alice," Ratchet addressed Sideswipe, "I know Legally Blonde over there is better looking then you are, but you're just gonna have to let it go."

Sideswipe looked like he was about to interrupt. Ratchet waved his pointer servo, "No, no, no. What have I said? When I'm in the room, you don't talk. Now I don't have the patience to deal with you slaggers and would like to watch my show in peace. So if you're not out of here in 4 astroseconds, well, I'm just going to have to make sure that next time, the ambassadors from Sweden get two new toaster in their trades with us."

Ratchet then went over to the couch and sat down beside Wheeljack. The twins stared for a brief moment then started hightailing it out of the room.

"At least he knew I was the prettier one…" Blaster heard from Sunstreaker as they sped out.

"Oh, the same goes to the rest of you Gossip Girls." Ratchet commented, looking over his shoulder at Jazz, Blaster, Bluestreak, and Hound, then turned the tv to the channel he wanted, looking smug.

Jazz looked over as Prowl entered the room once more. "I don't suppose you had anything to do with this?"

Prowl shrugged, a human habit he'd picked up. "Don't be absurd Jazz, I merely went to informed Ratchet that the show he liked was on since Wheeljack seemed busy watching Sunstreaker and Sideswipe."

Jazz stared at him and opened his mouth to talk again till a glare from Ratchet made him stop. Maybe the twins fears of Ratchet watching this television show weren't unfounded after all.

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And there. Done. Hey Starbee, HE'S STARING AT YOU. 3

Thank you for the reviews~ :3


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